October 18, 2013

The Blog of the Week is... The Real Stonewalling by Stephanie Hunt. Reflecting on her recent trip to Majorca, Spain, she draws on the perspective gained from flying up, up, and away just as the constant tick, tick, tick of political showdowns counted down. But no matter what side you're on—or if you even picked a side in the whole DC shutdown argument—she pulled out of her travel bag a wise reminder that much of what we see is, as she puts it, a sideshow, not the big picture. The big picture is what sustains despite the histrionics, teaches us without shouting at us.

When you're pedaling up 26 switchbacks of one of the steepest mountains you've ever pedaled up, a sturdy stone wall is a good companion. It says: Take it one rock at a time, one rock on top of the other, don't worry about which one comes next. It coaches: Build from the bottom up, it will all work out. It whispers: slow and steady. It laughs: Hey—it's cool, give yourself a break, see, there are gaps here and there, some pieces fit better than others, but it's okay.

Thanks, Stephanie. Pretty sure we needed that... (Read the entire blog here.)

So yes, pedaling out to gain a deeper perspective helps. And if you can't do that? As Stephanie hinted, a little levity in times of uncertainty (or pure madness!) goes a long way. The late-night comics, for example, have been having a heyday. Here are some of their better jabs over the past couple weeks:

"It is day three of the government shutdown. Right now 33 percent of the government is doing absolutely nothing, which is not bad considering that before the shutdown, 80 percent wasn't doing anything." –Jay Leno 

"People are mad at Congress because of the shutdown. According to a new poll, 69 percent of Americans say that House Republicans are acting like children. I think they may have a point because when asked about it, Republicans said, 'Ha ha you said 69.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Because of the government shutdown, President Obama has had to scale back his planned trip to Asia. Now Obama's just going to cross the street and eat lunch at a Panda Express." –Conan O'Brien

"People have events in the national parks and they're canceled because of the shutdown. There was a KKK rally scheduled to be held in a national park that was canceled. This was bad news for the KKK but good news for the park's black bears." –Conan O'Brien

"So far the ones hit hardest by the government shutdown are tourists because all the national parks are closed. Where will people go for anonymous sex? We still have the airport bathrooms, but that's only for Senators, and we can't all use that." –Craig Ferguson

"Because the government doesn't have any money, NASA had to close a Twitter account that warns the public about asteroids. So if you're someone who constantly checks Twitter to see if an asteroid's coming – would an asteroid really make your life any worse?" –Jimmy Fallon

"At the TSA, they're making passengers fondle and grope themselves. That's how bad." –Jay Leno

"It is so bad a lot of government workers are now watching reruns of Breaking Bad just to get the meth recipes. That's how bad it's gotten." –Jay Leno

"It is so bad John Boehner can't afford tanning cream anymore. He's just rubbing his face with Cheetos dust. That's how bad." –Jay Leno

"It is so bad Harry Reid has been forced to change his own embalming fluid. That's how bad it's gotten." –Jay Leno

"How many are worried about a government shutdown? How many are more worried about it starting back up?" –Jay Leno

"President Obama said the day after the budget deal is made he's going to concentrate on immigration. He says he'll start by deporting Ted Cruz." –Conan O'Brien

"The government will temporarily reopen until January 15 with the debt ceiling raised until February 7, and then we'll do this over again. Why do we have a debt ceiling? Why can't we get rid of the debt ceiling, have a convertible government, and feel the wind in our national hair?" –Jimmy Kimmel

"It's day 15 of the government shutdown. President Obama said he was hopeful an agreement would be reached tonight. Part of the problem is that Republicans can't even agree among themselves on what they want. Which means Obama doesn't know what to tell them they can't have." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Because of the government shutdown, the White House is under attack – by squirrels. They've invaded the White House garden because the gardeners were laid off. Michelle Obama planted a garden to show how easy it is to grow your own food. All you need is water, sunlight, and 50 full-time federal employees." –Craig Ferguson

"New Rule: If you get salmonella because of the government shutdown and die, then John Boehner has to come to your funeral. How can he resist? Funerals have the two things he loves the most: crying and an open bar." – Bill Maher

"They passed out the Nobel Prizes. The Nobel Prize for lack of chemistry – that's an interesting category – went to John Boehner and Barack Obama." –David Letterman

"China issued a warning because we owe them $1.3 trillion. If we default, they have threatened to cut off our supply of cheap plastic crap made by kids." –Jimmy Kimmel 

"As far as negotiating with the president, John Boehner said, 'I don't want to put anything on the table and I don't want to take anything off the table.' Of course not — like most congressmen they like to do business UNDER the table." –Jay Leno 

"Talking to reporters today about the shutdown, John Boehner said, 'If ands or buts were candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas.' You know, if they'd get off our butts and quit squeezing our nuts, we could enjoy Christmas." –Jay Leno

"There's a new restaurant in New York that doesn't let customers talk to each other during their meals. When they heard that, Obama and Republicans said, 'Table for 200 please?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"They said today that the government shutdown will not interfere with NASA's next mission to Mars. Isn't that ironic? We can go to Mars but we can't go to the Statue of Liberty." –Jay Leno

"At first people thought the government shutdown would last maybe a day, at the most a week. Now people are concerned, and experts are saying the shutdown may last as long as a Kardashian marriage." –David Letterman 

"After Congress failed to reach an agreement on a new spending bill, the federal government officially shut down. So roads won't get fixed, public employees won't be able to help you, and getting a federal loan for a house will be very difficult – but there will also be a lot of differences." –Jimmy Fallon

"I want the names of the idiots who elected these people!" –Jimmy Kimmel 

Want more? Find a whole trove of them right here.