The Glass Alone

: without help from anyone or anything else

: without another

: without including or needing anything more

The word can strike fear in our hearts and over time has developed its characteristic "negative" connotation. No one would disagree that being alone is not without discomfort, but to me it sings about independence, confidence, imagination, and bravery. 

“All in one” is self-sufficient, self-contained, fully functional as a stand “alone” entity. Aside from all that, there are some things we all know must be experienced or done alone, even if by societal standards we are part of family and the larger community.

So why do we fear being alone? Why are there so many lonely people? Oh yes, yes, there is a difference between being alone and being lonely…you can opt to be alone but loneliness is usually described as a feeling that over takes us typically when we are alone. But people will often speak of being lonely or "alone in a crowded room." Lonely, alone, loneliness….It gets pretty messy using the words as synonyms.

If you really think about it though, what does being lonely or suffering from loneliness have to do with being all in one? Not much it seems.

When I am aware of being alone, I am focused, determined,  working on daily decisions and tending to responsibilities, listening to my inner workings, checking on things, and in this state I experience, for lack of a better word, contentment. My creativity is free to roam and expand in any direction it chooses and I’m not afraid of what I might discover about myself, others, or life when I’m alone.

However, I rarely feel lonely or loneliness anymore. I remember those times in the past when I did, and quite true, they had nothing to do with being alone, in fact quite the opposite. I was continually around people, at work, after work, until I came home and fell into bed, hoping the loneliness that followed me around wouldn’t catch me before the next day.

I realize now, the reason I felt that way was because I was not adept at, nor had I even learned, how to be be alone. The very thing I feared, when I was forced to embrace it, was the thing that did away with the prior. Now I seek to be with a partner because I love them and want to be with them, not because I am afraid of being alone. Besides, “If you like the person you’re always with (YOU), you’ll never be lonely again.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer