THE #BachelorBreakdown: WEEK 10

Buckle in folks, this is a three-hour episode.

Last week we left off with Nick and Raven’s fantasy suite. We learned that Raven had never err…been satisfied in some aspects of her past relationships, and she hopes that Nick can fill that void.

As if this whole situation isn’t TMI enough, Raven tells us the morning after that Nick is very much an expert at what he does. Why do I watch this show? Her post fantasy suite interview is followed up by a little b-roll video of her skipping down the sidewalk and waving at every person she passes. Seriously, why do I watch this?

We move on to Rachel’s date and fantasy suite, where we know something has to be drama-filled since she’ll be going home tonight. They do a little ski walking, which looks a lot like Corinne walking in those high heels back in episode seven, amirite?. Rachel fails to stay up while walking and they end up parking their skis at this little barn that’s a home to some reindeer.  Childhood Christmas goals.

While walking to the deserted restaurant for a dinner they won’t eat, Rachel is literally wearing a crop top. A CROP TOP WHILE OUTSIDE IN FINLAND.

There’s like three feet of snow? This is actually the reason why Nick sends her home. Rachel finally starts to open up on how she feels about Nick and their relationship since she couldn’t find the words to do so during her hometown visit.

Nick tells her to check her ego at the door and go with what her heart is saying, so she tells him she’s falling in love with him. He seems so happy after she tells him, but you know in the back of his mind he’s thinking “she’s wearing a crop top in the snow.”

A fantasy suite key is offered to Rachel and because no contestant turns that down, she accepts. The morning after their date I have so many questions. Like why is Rachel wearing a onesie? Why is Nick cooking her breakfast, but didn’t cook for Raven? Why did Rachel not take her choker necklace off from the night before? I think those are valid questions, right?

Moving on, Nick and Vanessa head to their date of diving into freezing cold water to “strengthen their relationship”. Yeah, she got the crap date out of the three. No way I’m about to jump in a pool of ice water in some ugly one-piece swimsuit where I have to sit in it and freeze for ten seconds. I think I would literally forfeit the competition at this point. After tens trips of sitting in the cold water, they head to the nice warm hot tub.

This is when things get way serious and the conversation turns really deep. Vanessa tells Nick that her family is very traditional, but questions him when he makes the same statement.

Ok?

She refuses to give up her three hours every week that she spends with her family, which I get, but I also have to side with my boy Nick here. I’m completely onboard that the family you create with your spouse becomes number one and your family with your parents and siblings becomes number two. Just when I think this couple is dunzo after all these deep issues, Vanessa tells Nick she loves him and he looks genuinely happy.

At this point, I have no idea what’s going to happen at tonight’s rose ceremony. Ok, that’s not true. I do know what’s going to happen.

We head to the rose ceremony, and damn the girls are pulling out all the works tonight. This is the hottest I’ve seen Vanessa on the show thus far. Actually, Rachel and Raven, too.

First rose; Raven. Second rose; Vanessa. Shocker, we all know Rachel is the next Bachelorette. Nick says his farewell to Rachel and she doesn’t seem too upset, maybe she already knows she’s a shoe-in for The Bachelorette?

Sorry to tell you all to buckle in at the beginning, because this was only a one-hour episode. Am I the only person not getting the ‘this is only a one-hour long episode’ memo? We’ll return next week for the FINAL ROSE.

This is it y’all.

Nick will be handing out the last rose to one of the brunette beauties, Vanessa or Raven. And for anyone who doesn’t think Nick has a type, just look up some photos of Andi Dorfman, Kaitlyn Bristowe, and Jen Saviano. Uhm, yeah.

So plan your viewing parties now and I'll see you next week for the most dramatic episode yet!